As our economy continues to struggle along, we are daily bombarded with a string of leading news stories (delivered mostly by giddy reporters–my, how they love bad news) informing us of yet another corporation laying off thousands of workers. Just today I spoke with two clients whose respective companies had laid off over 7,000 people between them. This past Sunday our pastor put things in perspective when he said, “Look at your pew…if their are 20 people sitting with you, two of them have lost their jobs.”
There are more people out of work today than I can remember at any point in my life. With so many people looking for a new job (many for the first time in decades) I thought now might be a good time to update you on some SUPER SNEAKY changes that have taken place in advertising a job for prospective applicants.
These phrases seem straight forward enough, but that’s the trick…they’re not….they have been strategically designed in some dark, smoke-filled room by some very nasty tricksters. So in my attempts to save you from making a huge mistake and joining a company that would drive you to desire the Kitty Litter Taste-Tester job, here are some thoughts to help you navigate through these murky “job search flood waters.” We’ll call them my:
Top 10 Definitions of Sneaky Corporate Job Postings
10. “Some Overtime Required” – Some time each night and some time each weekend…you will have no life.
9. “Seeking Candidates With A Wide Variety of Experience” – You’ll need to replace three people who just got fired.
8. “Career Minded” – We prefer you have no spouse, children, or any outside interests.
7. “Requires Team Leadership Skills” – You’ll have the responsibilities of a manager without the pay or respect.
6. “Duties Will Vary” – Anyone in the office can boss you around.
5. “Competitive Salary” – We remain competitive by paying less than our competition.
4. “Apply in Person” – If you are old, fat, or ugly, you will be told the position has been filled.
3. “Must be Deadline Oriented” – You’ll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
2. “Some Travel Required” – Kiss your family goodbye…you will never see them again.
1. “Join Our Fast-Paced Company” – We have no time to train you...good luck.
I certainly hope this clears up any confusion you may have!
In all seriousness, if you find yourself looking for work these days, let me encourage you to hang in there. Your dream job may be just one phone call or meeting away.